All Cheese, No Magic: Witch Please by Ann Aguirre
I love the idea of a quirky cute witch romance book. Fantasy romance and witches have been all the rage since Harry Potter, with over 55 percent of YA books purchased by adults, requiring a whole new genre for growing readers. So I was excited when I saw this book on BookTok and snagged a copy at my local library. The cover screamed vintage details and the first chapter was downright adorable. And yet, the book itself was almost too cute. It never got to a deeper level, leaving me quite disappointed considering this is the first of a ‘Fit It Witches’ series.
Like many readers, I like to know where the characters are at. How do they feel? Are they as invested in the story and romance as I am? In this book, I had absolutely no questions. I was almost beat over the head with how much these two were in love before I even knew their personalities. It took me out a bit with the Hallmark-level fluff. I mean, a hot single baker with a nosy sister and a small-town witch with an overprotective grandmother. Come on!
This book was cheesy and overly romantic to the point of obsession with sudden long bursts of spice. Childish baseless love to climax in .25 seconds. It was disjointing, especially considering this book was labeled as being from the teen section of my local library. I was expecting MAYBE a fade to black. I feel the actual book didn't hold up to the plot summary. The basic events had some drama and kept me reading (though skimming), but the writing itself was so cringy I was almost aching to put it down every few chapters.
Then came the super weird details about this hypothetical witch world, where "mundane" people that know about magic are turned into animals, like cats, and the witches exposed have their memory wiped, all led by a Vultori-like counsel. This universe also had creepy witch men with dating apps for finding partners suitable for "proper breeding.” It all felt more like a thrown-together concept than a thought-out universe. Very bizarre. I honestly could have done without all of it. The term “mundane” already felt a bit odd, an obvious call to Harry Potter muggles.
We never do find out what happened to the looming witch hunter, I assume because the author is waiting for book #2 with Clem (short for Clementine, an adorable name but a horrible nickname (rhyming with phlegm? really?)). Stay tuned if I review that cringy mess.
In the end, Danica and Titus say “I love you” and beat the odds against Danica’s judgemental grandmother. Surprise! Goodreads described this book as “Practical Magic” meets “Gilmore Girls,” which was a gross overexpectation. I might have fared better without the unrealistic expectations of the back of the book.
2 stars
It was okay, but not horrible and I guess that’s all I can ask for. I might read Book 2 if I feel compelled to later this year.
