When in Doubt, Ask Cosmo: Seven Exes by Lucy Vine
This was the first non-borrowed non-thrifted book I’ve read in a while, but I felt compelled drawn to it. A girl decides to contact all of her exes after reading a Cosmo-esque article that says she’ll only have seven significant boyfriends? Sounds like a recipe for a perfect romcom (especially if you’ve already seen “What’s My Number” starring Chris Evans and Anna Farris).
The inspiration for the book actually came from Vine’s own experience as a magazine journalist. “I’ve written many articles like the one that inspires Esther’s Seven Exes mission,” Vine admitted to Nerd Daily. “I’ve also spent a lot of time being obsessed with exes, so it was great getting closure vicariously through Esther while writing this!”
I was gripped from the first page, from the best intro I’ve possibly ever read, an incredibly introspective and personal description about her illusive soul mate. Author Lucy Vine speaks with such relatable honestly about vulnerability and relationships that the hi-jinx of protagonist Esther’s friend group come off ad a bit gimmicky at times (hard not to be with such a gimmicky initial concept). A friend named Bibi, but no one knows her real name (shouldn’t it be on the lease?!) A older gal-pal neighbor DTF the misunderstood grouch downstairs. The lifelong bestie with a hot but boring BF that never leaves her alone. An ex-bestie-turned-lover-turned-mysterious-ex. The only thing that’s missing is her one true love. The only problem, according to an outdated women’s magazine article she takes as Bible, Esther’s best relationship is already sitting in her reject pile.
The thought of searching through my past-relationship pile for the LOML prospect gives me hives. I’ve gotta hand it to Esther, she does a lot fo self-work throughout the book’s journey, realizing unsettled trauma and self-hate. Every man has a story of why and why-not.
**SPOILERS**
The First Love: Even as a 30-year-old woman, there relationship never grew up. Stuck in their adolescence, he makes her feel both the embarrassment and captivating innocence of one’s first love. But ultimately, it’s just the past.
The Work Mistake: This relationship caught me so off-guard given what was previously said about the character, which I think allows the reader to uncover the trauma behind this relationship as Esther herself does.
The Friend with Benefits: Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman have already taught us this lesson: someone always ends up catching feelings when sex is involved. Some like Kunis end in marriage and genuine love, but starts with mutual affection and respect. These two never had that.
The Overlap: These two were never a real relationship, more of an escape. It wasn’t about him. It was Esther’s own insecurities and shame, not wanting to admit defeat. A second run wasn’t going to fix that.
The Missed Chance: This relationship is what I was waiting for as every other ex passed by and I was so disappointed. He was never really interested in her, just stringing her along enough in case he needed to settle, because everyone (as seen by my initial anticipation for this pairing) wants the illusive The One That Got Away. Once she saw that, everything else in her life fell into place. Maybe he was really always The One Holding Her Back.
The Bastard: Good choice to leave this one out.
The Serious One: While he came off as perfect-on-paper, he was never perfect for Esther. She couldn’t feel comfortable with him, partially because her own insecurity and inadequacy. It was never going to work. The Overlap was an excuse, and she knew it.
The Ex That Never Was: Did I not-so accidentally read the last page before finishing the book? Yes. I didn’t know the biggest spoiler would be there! (Consider yourself warned). But I already saw these two from the moment he stepped on the page. Nick is an adult. He brings out the maturity in Esther, as opposed to their years of irresponsibility and lying. They respect one another and make each other laugh. Post-book, I see them going the distance, if not all the way. The One You Never Realized Was There All Along.
There are two major lessons in this book to live by. (1) Don’t believe everything you read in a magazine. And (2), there’s always more room for love.
4 stars
