Decisions, Decisions: Bachelorette Week 3
The episode opens with Gabby and Rachel in their own personal mansion, ready to get serious about the guys and figure out where their heads are at. And that means deciding between the two bachelorettes who they want to continue a relationship with. A bit earlier in the season than I thought, but I’m not mad about it. The girls seem to have been picking up some bad vibes from people like ERICH and LOGAN who are still playing both teams, and I am too.
ZACK, aka Jed, gets the first 1-on-1 date this week with Rachel, so Gabby decides to hit up the mansion and spend some quality time with the guys, which apparently means throwing around the football and ignoring the girl they’re supposedly competing for.
Gabby is upset over the blasé afternoon. She says “I deserve to be loved, but do I deserve to be loved by the person I want to be loved by? Because it seems like the people I wanted to be loved by didn’t,” and it hits me in the gut. So many great quotes from these ladies. I think it brings up a common theme among Bachelorette seasons: just because a group of men has come to “compete for your heart” doesn’t mean that they’re actually interested in you, and it doesn’t mean the ones you pursue a relationship with are going love you back.
On the date, ZACK declares his sole interest for Rachel, but he still seems pretty stiff despite his verbal declarations, both of them doing a fashion show with Karamo from Netflix’s Queer Eye, decked in floral button-ups and 90s Canadian Tuxedos like Justin Timberlake and Brittney Spears. Turns out the movie premiere for their night portion was a dolled-up family video night with clips from their childhood and current messages from their parents put together by producers. It was very sweet and Rachel cried, but if that was my date, honestly would have been pissed. Very soon and a bit lackluster compared to the lead-up. But that just makes her a better person. She gives him a rose and they seem happy.
The next date, it’s a threesome with Gabby, ERICH, and Gabby’s Grandfather. Probably not the romantic alone time ERICH was hoping for. Grandpa is jokingly upset he doesn’t have his own date, but ERICH seems to bond with him alright. And eventually, at post-meditation bowling (you read that right), Gabby sets him up with an older woman named Julie. Everyone has a great time, with several strikes and kisses.
“It was the high school dream,” Gaby says.
In Part 3 of their date (a rare occasion for ABC), Gabby shares more about her complicated relationship with her mom. She breaks down, mirroring last episode’s date with NATE, sharing fears that ERICH may similarly find it hard to love her. It’s a long time before she returns to the table.
“I’m not polished. I’m not like anyone they’ve had in the past. I’m not Rachel,” she admits, and it’s his pledge for honesty that leads Gabby to literally crawl in his lap and make out, offering him the rose.
On the group date, Franco La Costa is back for another photoshoot date. An iconic date from seasons like Juan Pablo and Pilot Pete, costumes include small child, baby, and loin-leaf Adam. It is the first time I’ve seen this on a Bachelorette season but something that’s ended the franchise in hot water multiple times. And while Gabby and Rachel have both publicly embraced their sexuality and enjoy the playfulness of this date, it is definitely a set-up by producers, who simply should have learned by now.
The evening portion is casually on the LA Rams football field. AVEN and Rachel play a little 1-on-1 flag football, flirting and chasing each other around the grass, sealed with an end-zone smooch. TINO says the magic words though, telling Rachel he’s “absolutely certain” he’s only interested in pursuing her.
TYLER pulled Gabby aside to reject her, as well as HAYDEN, which definitely sucks, as the camera cuts to Rachel making out on the Rams field. HAYDEN literally calls Gabby “rough around the edges,” saying that their “morals don’t align.” Absolutely not what Gabby wanted to hear after her emotional night with ERICH. And not exactly what you want to hear about your best friend either. I wonder if that will be a problem down the line for Rachel and HAYDEN’s relationship. It’s very similar to the group date last week for Rachel, settling for LOGAN.
Rachel’s date rose goes to AVEN and Gabby ended the night without one, settling a silence among the group. Rachel was an absolute G, supporting and hugging Gabby when she needs it, practically jumping at the chance to challenge the group. “What, because there’s two of us, they think they can act that way (insulting the other)?” she says, visibly upset at her friend’s hurt. JACOB said if only Gabby was there he’d leave. Does Mr. Loincloth realize he’s only there because of the producers’ need for comedic relief?
And so, we go STRAIGHT TO THE COCKTAIL PARTY! Gabby and Rachel decide to take the roses ceremony back into their own hands and divide which men they’d like to continue dating.
RACHEL: Zack, Aven, Tino, Logan, Termayne, Alec, Tyler, Ethan, Jordan, Meatball, and Hayden.
GABBY: Erich, Nate, Johnny, Jason, Quincy, Mario, and Michael.
And now, the Bachelorette season will TRUELY become something we haven’t seen before: two simultaneous Bachelorette journeys®, with each woman there to support the other as friends and confidants, not competitions (I.e. how it should have been from the start). Producers sent these women through the wringer. They threw out the “rulebook” and forced them to essentially run the show while in an unprecedented situation. It was emotionally exhausting, but now they can each hopefully find a partner unique to them. I guess we’ll find out next week, on the Bachelorette.
