Real Girl, Fantasy World: Bachelor Ep 9
The Fantasy Suites are notoriously the most secretive, scandalous, and sexy night of the Bachelor franchise. With everything from Nick Vial’s big mouth to Hannah B.’s windmill speech, with only three contestants left, there’s always plenty of drama. It’s sex on television—allegedly. Behind closed doors. At the very least, it’s a full night alone for the first time. Contestants have commented that discussions include politics, religious affiliation, marriage timelines, and more. This week alone makes or breaks the relationships of Bachelor Nation. And this week, we got a taste of why.
RACHEL
We start the episode with Rachel and Joey cliff-jumping into romantic international waters. I’m surprised this is the first time it’s happened given how many sketchy jump spots contestants vault from, but RACHEL breaks her jaw at the first jump, smiling through the excruciating pain, not wanting to lose time with Joey. What was crazier than her not wanting to seek medical attention in order to spend time with him, was his admission that he understood where her mind is coming from, that the time could hypothetically change outcomes. She has a broken jaw! Someone get this girl some medical attention.
At this point, if you’re this close to an engagement and a quick swim on camera is going to make or break your standing, should you really be considering getting engaged?
Joey is very sweet at the hospital, doting on her, but I can’t help but feel their breakup inching up behind them.
KELSEY
At this point, is it really a competition? It’s not only obvious that Joey and Kelsey have unique comfort and connection with one another. They also share the strongest stated affection for one another, both saying “I’m falling in love you with” and this week KELSEY admitting she loves him. If he doesn’t pick her at the end of all this, I don’t even know if I’ll recover as a viewer, having not been in a relationship with him.
Viewers can tell Golden Bachelor alumn Leslie Fhima still hasn’t gotten over Gerry Turner after speaking with KELSEY, planting (purposefully by producers, or not) a paranoia bug in her brain of being blindsided. It’s a MARIA-branded self-sabotage. The girls that have it in the bag are shooting themselves in the foot and Joey is letting them. Instead or reassuring their relationship, his own insecurities take over and he’s left also questioning their relationship. They’re both clearly love each other. They have the strongest relationship. I do think they end up together, despite the scary looming previews. But I also think if they have such issues with insecurity and reassurance early on in their relationship, without any real hurdles so far, how will it work post-bachelor in the spotlight? I probably won’t.
DAISY
Oh, DAISY. Remember when America thought she was going to win it all? Had Joey in the palm of her hand? While she is sweet, and her relationship with Joey is certainly growing, they act like a couple ready to be official, not ready for an engagement. DAISY has said this too. She’s not in love with him. She’s falling. There are butterflies—I’m sure aided by the grand travel and romantic planning of the show itself. She’s not ready to be engaged. He gets self-destructive when a woman says they’re not ready. Sensing a pattern?
I don’t know if Joey will end up with anyone this season. The previews certainly don’t look good, but the franchise has led us astray plenty of times before. I’ve seen almost every twist in the book. Jesse Palmer claims we’ve “never seen an ending like this before,” per usual, but it does make me curious. Jason Mesnik and Arie Lluyendyk Jr. broke up with their fiances on live TV for the runner-up. Colton Underwood broke up with everyone, jumped a fence, and proposed to the second runner-up back home. Katie Thurston was dumped, leaving only her future fiance. Peter dumped his fiance and dated several people from his season off and on for a messy few years. Brad Womack picked no one his first season, then asked to come back a few years later to “try again.” What could possibly be new? Are we all just being lied to?
