Double Trouble: Bachelorette S19 Night 1

The Bachelorette may well be the longest tv series that I’ve ever watched live. I started with scattered episodes of Chris Soles’ season back in 2015. Before Becca Tilley was dating Hayley Kiyoko. Before Kaitlyn Bristowe parted the Red Sea for Bachelor Wine Brands. Before Chris Soles was charged with a felony for a hit and run. Before Ben Higgens was even a twinkle in the franchise’s eye. Let’s just say that was a long time ago, a number I wear as a badge of honor, getting confused looks when I talk Bachelor with friends because I must be a thousand years old to know the history and drama I do. And so it’s fitting that my new blog start off with the tv dating series that started it all. 

The first full season I watched was Kaitlyn’s, arguably one of the best Bachelorette seasons. I remember the forceful competition between Kaitlyn and Britt, not told until Night 1 of their supposed journey® that they were yet again in a competition for the affection of male strangers. 

For “a season like no other” that ABC’s been promoting, it sure seems like we’ve seen this before. The ladies are simply sticking around for the entire season. Not too different considering Kaitlyn still had to deal with the drama of men there for Britt who decided to stick around for fun (and to be on tv). 

In reaction to this season, Kaitlyn told PEOPLE “At first I was like, ‘No, please don't do this again. I thought we learned our lesson the first time – nobody liked having two Bachelorettes.’ The last time it felt like we were pitted against each other."

And that’s what makes Bachelorette Season 19 so interesting. I feel like a grandma talking about the “olden days,” mentioning the show’s competition between Kaitlyn vs Britt. The ick that came from turning a Bachelor spinoff meant to “give women the power” into another tale of “am I good enough” from two women who were supposed to be the leads. The teasers of this season, starring Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia, feature crying and being repeatedly rejected despite the franchise’s promo messaging of female empowerment and friendship. “Two best friends. One unbelievable season.” We all knew it was too good to be true.

In terms of hosts, the franchise decided to extend Jesse Palmer for all spinoffs, to the disappointment of Kaitlyn, who found out along with everyone else on the internet. Classy.

One of the perks of Tayshia and Kaitlyn as the hosts for the last two Bachelorette seasons was the extra line of support from women while going through the journey® of becoming The Bachelorette. Dating 32 men is no joke, as it looks like Gabby and Rachel about to find out. And while they do have each other, it also looks like their fireside chats are going to lead to some expected drama. You cannot tell one lead “I came here for you” and then the other the same thing while they compare notes. I’m calling it now. This absolutely is going to happen (my guess is on ERICH). Men are not always very smart.

Exhibit A on how men aren’t that smart: Right out of the limo, the first impression for your potential girlfriend, the men cannot stop talking about Clayton! No girl wants to hear about their ex the first time you meet. We get it. He was wrong. Even he knows that. So maybe don’t remind the girls that Clayton pulled a Nick Viall and told the world he’d had sex with them on television, and then broken up with them after saying ‘I love you.’ I’ll say it. That’s a huge red flag for an opener. You are simply looking for on-screen attention. It happens every season and without packages introducing the guys (another bad move from production), Clayton took up so much air time in the first episode that we almost forget why we were watching — Gabby and Rachel. So why are we still bringing him up with a literal choir of “Clayton Sucks”? Especially considering the pinned anti-bullying post on the official Bachelor Nation ABC Instagram? Tsk, tsk, ABC. Tsk, tsk.

Going into this season, I think I had a great idea of what Rachel was looking for in a guy but not quite Gabby, and this episode proved it. Here are my first impressions of the guys: 

ZACK - First out of the limo and first to forget his own name. Zack seems very sweet. Love his voice. Off to a great start to the night.

JASON - “I’ve got something in common with Clayton.” Red Flag. “I’m in love with three women. My mom. My sister. And my dog.” Red Flag. Both Gabby and Rachel say he’s their type, so we’ll see how that goes.

AVEN - The personalized quotes in front of each other was not the vibe. Cute, but I prefer JORDAN H’s headphone idea. I understand that they’re all dating two women, but I was really hoping more people would have said “I’m here for you” right out of the gate. No one did that. It’s giving wrong reasons. The conversation later with Rachel is sweet but there isn’t a kiss and she’s weirded out.

LOGAN - Gabby is absolutely terrified of the chicks. He walks in with closed fists and just dropped baby birds in their hands. No thank you. But he seems sweet. This is the first guy I trying to make genuine connections with both women.

QUINCY - Admitting something so personal and intimate to the world is a personal choice. It is definitely a headline snatcher, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. The best was when JACOB R got off his Fabio-esque horse and QUINCY worried “he might get chilly.” Adorable.

HAYDEN - At first glance, he looks like Rachel’s type. Boyish looks with a nice smile and an almost-funny sense of humor. A little birdie told me he might be trouble this season. He makes a joke about Clayton and his “head” coming out of the limo. Not my vibe but Gabby finds it funny. Again, I have absolutely no read on her. He then gives a personalized birthday card to Rachel and her eyes turn into actual hearts. Sounds like we’ll have to keep an eye on him. 

JAMES - Ummm, why didn’t they get to eat the meatball sub? If I’d been standing for hours, through hair and makeup and 30 guys in limos, I would absolutely eat that sandwich. Missed opportunity.

ROBY - He seems very sweet, but it is not a smart move to make magic your entire personality. They do not seem into it. And I think he also shoots himself in the foot by taking them off to talk together.

JOHN - Dead man in the water. He mixes up Gabby and Rachel’s names and it absolutely shows on their faces. Someone didn’t check their cue cards. 

JUSTIN & JOEY - When the girls ask what makes them different from each other, the answer is essentially nothing. They each work in medical sales at different companies. And yet, words cannot describe the embarrassment I feel from their exit. Being one of three singled out in broad daylight and dumped on the stairs because the girls think you’re boring is definitely rough. And sent home with the magician. Even men Gabby and Rachel have not spoken to at all stayed. My sister shares a mutual friend with the twins and they’ve been pretty mum on the entire situation. Hopefully, this will blow over once the season progresses, but the secondhand embarrassment is overwhelming. 

RYAN- His clown look is a bit on the nose, but his flirty Boston lingo lesson is getting Gabby all hot and bothered. Their banter is super cute. You can tell she really likes him. I may be biased as a New England gal myself. The “Hey, guy, how a ya?” is very accurate.

JORDAN V - He and Rachel really bond over their jobs. She is very impressed and they share a few flirty moments. Similar to AVEN, she is expecting a kiss that didn’t happen, but I have high hopes for him.

MARIO - I am so thrown off by the vibe of this man. He seems cool in the self-taped intros. I love what he has to say during their one-on-one time about vulnerability for men. Gabby seems to find him hilarious and charming, but I keep getting awkward vibes. I can’t be the only person who thinks their make-out session looks like a first kiss between middle schoolers. He receives the first kiss of the season and the first impression rose from Gabby. Looks like a contender.

TINO - Both Gabby and Rachel were very into him right out of the limo, but Rachel gets the kiss, her only kiss of the night (to her disappointment). It seems a little fast but that might be the editing.

ERICH - Third kiss of the night, second for Gabby. They have a flirty banter that is oh so adorable. But he does go talk to Rachel with his tie still messed up from Gabby’s makeout session and tries to kiss Rachel too. Don’t love that. It’s not his actions per se but the power dynamic shift within the show. 

At the rose ceremony, we cut to Jesse Palmer looking at a non-existent rule book for how to get them to send someone home. Anyone. Anyone at all. Knowing that the rules of this show are arbitrary and can be changed at any moment. 

Everyone except JUSTIN, JOEY, and ROBY stay, so there’s not much to report on. That’s a lot of guys to get through in 10 weeks, even with two women. They might regret that later on as they get to know the guys. It’s always harder to break things off once invested. But that might not be their biggest problem. 

According to Kaitlyn’s interview with PEOPLE, the former Bachelorette and host says, “You can already tell that they do have similar taste in men and that I'm sure that's gonna be a problem." 

I guess we’ll stay tuned to see how their love stories unfold. One thing is for sure: This may well be THE MOST DRAMATIC SEASON EVER.